Composed through lack of define

reSET

Sun, 12 May 2013 15:45:19 -0400

To: 4/25 Love, 4/26.

Its a sign,
I’m meant to write.
Everything that went wrong, went right.
If singing covers made me money,
I would live, breathe and die it.
Die if
I never touch
confusion with my clarity,
untangle what they’ve tried to say,
each word choice proves sincerity.
Bare with me, the ears
that deserve to hear, “me too!”
If not the same, I’ll listen..
take a step in your worn shoes.
Please, be my muse!

psych rotation

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 19:19:40 -0400

a poem to a patient…

I know they care,
it’s written all over their smiles.
I pick up all of the pieces,
life seems better for a while.
Go through all the motions
it’s a tough place to be,
when you’re stitching back together
what’s left of friends and family.
I remember laughing,
smile with me, sing.
These playful gestures, now,
only imagined in my dreams.
Do I dare beg, “Please!”
“If I jump, give me wings!”
Do I dare chance life or death
Will I ever mean anything?
“Mommy,” he says
My life flashes before me
An image of myself in him
His hands, his nose, his feet.
To leave would be to accept defeat,
I’m here to prove I’m strong.
Admitting that it’s not easy,
find out which thoughts went wrong.
The stillness, the anxious,
the shaking and beating..
Everything I’ve ever known
gives my mind its meaning.
Its releasing what’s deeply
buried in my deny,
that can settle the fatal battle
between my body and my mind.

"i'll never love again"

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:14:18 -0500

How do I explain that I’ve felt this before? An obvious magnetism that, now, appears to be more. I’ve loved, but many-few have felt what I feel like. Have tasted my tongue, indulged in my drink’s spike. A blackout exchange: What’s real and what’s fake? Which pieces convinced us of making mistakes? “I’ll never drink again,” I say, my head confused and blurring. Denial of the obvious, my mind continually confirming— what you were to me.

GASP!

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 18:41:04 -0500

I woke up.

Not as if out of a coma, but as if out of a life shuddering dream. Im conditioned and agile. Risen through fear, dancing in scare. Left laughing, a fool.. Playful but schooled.

Im alive.

Awarenot.

Thu, 04 Oct 2012 12:37:59 -0400

We are all too aware of the possibility of being observed. The act of living itself is stifled by that knowledge. Because to truthfully experience is to act on the impulse of our subconscious’s interaction with anything and everything we come in contact with.

Its almost as if learning is what ruins us. That the mind is as much it’s elixir as it is it’s kryptonite. That man was the perfect creation and it’s equal-different is our only distraction.

But, if we didn’t find another mind… what would be our reason?

a terrier taught me this…

Wraith

Sun, 30 Sep 2012 11:07:11 -0400

I’m feeling a vibrating, hyper aware sense of living. A consciousness of cognizance… played with in my dream world, (r)apidly practiced as my (e)yes (w)hirl. Through this movement a frequented lucid… As if to press a button, aware of what the result is; as if to know exactly how to activate and dissolve fits. To wake at whim, a vital, verbal ventilate; speak sequential submits, traced-out time: to translate. As if for sanity’s sake I state speculations my mind creates, continually pieced at puzzled pace, a visceral re evaluate; until the strange of my surmise seeks demise.

Clearly defined; if not too clear to find.

"You are a talented, sexy as hell, little piece of heaven; bursting with love, energy and sheer joy...."

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 04:23:00 -0400

“You are a talented, sexy as hell, little piece of heaven; bursting with love, energy and sheer joy. And I bet the world stops turning when you kiss someone.”

- M. S. Murphy

#quoteworthycompliment

ex·hib·it

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 06:57:00 -0400

‘We’ being the ‘we’s’ that this refers to. ~~Not to be confused with those who throw away everything to shape how strong they are.~~

We hold on to people, grip them to protect us from our fears and insecurities. Our relationships begin to shape how strong we are, how satisfied we’ve become. Any piece forcefully disassembled from this structure could send us spiraling. That’s the pain; change. Emotional and physical, like lightning pulsing and piercing your gut.

Change, I feel you!

Change, I don’t fear you!

habit

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 13:56:02 -0400

habit

"Relaxing is such a beautiful task"

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 23:41:27 -0400

“Relaxing is such a beautiful task”

A Roy

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 20:23:31 -0400

—San Jose bus station—
It seems I make friends everywhere I go. We haven’t even exchanged names and he’s already bought me dinner and a beer.

Sir, you are making me forget to remember… and I applaud you at your success. Its making all the photographs I’ve kept burn away from my hoarding head.

He said, “you’re not forgetting anything important; you are simply choosing to remember what’s necessary.”

I smiled.
Finished my Imperial.
And loaded a bus to Montezuma.

exhaling the madness.

Sun, 19 Aug 2012 00:16:23 -0400

exhaling the madness.

Falling asleep to your figure.

Sat, 18 Aug 2012 23:45:05 -0400

I wish you weren’t so stubborn.
I crave to touch your skin.
Starving for your sketches,
temporarily traced inside my head.
As I’d paint in tactile colors,
the music of your breath,
I’d be fed with the dance
of taste and touch and scent
until we slept.

Efflorescence

Sat, 18 Aug 2012 18:51:18 -0400

You’re beautiful.
The music plays and you are blooming,
dancing in it.
Between familiar sounds you sway,
an energy surrounding you.
Hello,
Pretty girl…
Keep inhaling the world.
Ex haling what turns you mad,
you observe what holds your soul.
You’re in love.
Its beautiful.
And It’s sad.
It makes me wonder…
What is beautiful?
And if You are
then why do I envy it?
Its more complicated then I ever imagined.
Its dissatisfaction.
But the song makes you happy.
“promise not to stop when I say when,”
She said.

Costa bound.

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 22:09:56 -0400

Costa bound.

Realization

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 11:32:17 -0400

Desire is my favorite emotion.
A wild one,
fueled by pleasure,
burning in satisfaction.
Mastered pieces ashed, Done.

Satisfaction is my new favorite emotion.

"An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way."

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 00:02:00 -0400

““An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.””

- Charles Bukowski

A long night and beautiful morning of a person.

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 18:38:00 -0400

July 15

She came quickly; like the wind, packing her things and spinning from person to place. This is how I remember her; Her chaotic organization and restless hands. Her gaze saturated my avoiding eyes, splashing them violently when met. It was touch, sense memory, that set me free. The desire to satisfy with what used to satisfy me. The rain tastes different in summertime. Still, I’ll forever love the dance.

July 13, 2012

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 15:58:34 -0400

Recently, the ways you express your creativity and uniqueness have been changing quite dramatically, dear Sagittarius, and your relationships with love interests as well. Your attractions are breaking your norm, and while you may be acting out at times, ultimately you are discovering a new dimension of yourself.

STOP

Mon, 07 May 2012 17:29:28 -0400

I just want to hit you in the face.
Grab on to every impulse that denies me.
Quit trying to fight me!
What once lived now dies in front of me.
A walking carcass of twisted meanings
You see me
only as
your threat.